What better a day to start out on this blog than on on which I have learned something.
In Art
Today's news in the Art field is that yesterday (or this morning, I'm not sure which...) I finished a beautiful piece of art that I spent all weekend on. Here, have a looksie: Fallen Embers.
I also started work on a very emotional piece named She's Alone, and I'm Alone, after Ben Folds Five's "Brick". Unfortunately, I somehow crashed the program, and I hadn't saved... in four hours of work... I guess I'll just have to start all over again... :: sigh ::
I also started work on a very emotional piece named She's Alone, and I'm Alone, after Ben Folds Five's "Brick". Unfortunately, I somehow crashed the program, and I hadn't saved... in four hours of work... I guess I'll just have to start all over again... :: sigh ::
In Thought
Sometimes, I wonder how people can have so much emotion, and yet I never see it. There are so many people that I see every day that just seem fake. They're like dolls: not real, no thought, no ability to feel on any level above simple happy or simple sad.
Am I missing something? Perhaps I just cannot see it. I like to think that maybe I'm just not looking hard enough. Something about the idea of most people not really feeling... well, frightens me...
Am I missing something? Perhaps I just cannot see it. I like to think that maybe I'm just not looking hard enough. Something about the idea of most people not really feeling... well, frightens me...
What I learned today.
Today, I slept in. Until four in the afternoon. I missed school, and my mother doesn't like that. She feels the need to treat me like I'm a child, to reprimand me as if I'm not aware of what I've done. I know I missed school, and I am personally not too happy about that. I suppose that isn't good enough for her, though.
You see, I believe my mother is a fan of operant conditioning. She takes my actions, ignores the natural consequences of them, and applies her own consequences to try and shape my behavior. The problem is, I don't acknowledge her consequences. The consequences that come naturally are good enough for me, and I block out whatever else people try to apply to me.
For example, since I didn't go to school today, seeing as I slept in, I feel bad for not being there. Not only did I miss being able to gain more knowledge, I left a friend without part of our project. That makes me scold myself. I feel bad already; I don't need my mother to give me the whole "you're stupid, your excuses aren't good enough for me, you should have gone to school" speech.
So today, I guess I realized that it doesn't so much matter what other people give me, so far as consequences go. I don't care if it's not good enough for someone else, only if it's good enough for me.
You see, I believe my mother is a fan of operant conditioning. She takes my actions, ignores the natural consequences of them, and applies her own consequences to try and shape my behavior. The problem is, I don't acknowledge her consequences. The consequences that come naturally are good enough for me, and I block out whatever else people try to apply to me.
For example, since I didn't go to school today, seeing as I slept in, I feel bad for not being there. Not only did I miss being able to gain more knowledge, I left a friend without part of our project. That makes me scold myself. I feel bad already; I don't need my mother to give me the whole "you're stupid, your excuses aren't good enough for me, you should have gone to school" speech.
So today, I guess I realized that it doesn't so much matter what other people give me, so far as consequences go. I don't care if it's not good enough for someone else, only if it's good enough for me.
My only judge is myself.
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